Unspoken Memories
by The Whitest Shade Of Pale
Summary: Was it really the Spanish Flu? Or was it something more sinister? Is Carlisle not letting on about how much he really knows about Alice's past? Was Alice the only vampire-to-be in the asylum? AU Full summary inside
1. Chapter 1

Unspoken Memories

**Full Summary**

Was the Spanish Influenza the real reason why Edward was changed? Or was it something more sinister? Was Alice the only Vampire-To-Be in the Julietta Asylum? Which was also known as the _Asylum for Incurables._

Does a certain blonde haired Doctor know a bit more about Alice's human life than he lets on?

Edward doesn't talk. Not to anyone, he doesn't believe there is anything he could say worth listening to. He can climb a mountain in minutes, he could kill an crowd in seconds, yet he won't utter a word.

Alice doesn't remember anything of her human life, and is desperately trying to find her origins. She feels her _father for all intensive purposes_ knows more than he will tell her.

Can a chocolate-brown haired, doe-eyed human girl help Edward to speak again?

And can a blond haired Empath unlock Alice's past?

And most importantly,

Why, oh _why _was Emmett found wearing one of Rosalie's favourite designer dresses?

**As you can see, I've written the full summary now. I will be uploading the first chapter tomorrow. **

**This story will mostly be told in alternating Alice and Edward POV, with some others here and there. This shall be a very complicated story, and so I won't be updating quite as often. **

**After I upload the first two chapters, I'll leave it for a bit planning out the whole entire story. I prefer to have the whole story planned out before I really get into it, that way it won't get dragged out. **

**I feel this story is quite depressing and dark (surprise, just read the summaries of my previous fics :L) so I added a little bit of Emmett in there :D**

**Well, until the next chapter (tomorrow hopefully :O)**

**-BrokenMirrorsMyBad (At least I think that's my penname)**

**:)**


	2. And to my death I went

Unspoken memories

**To my death I went **[Spring, 1917]

_I hate the ending myself,__  
But it starting with an all right scene,  
__It was the roar of the crowd,  
That gave my heartache to sing._

**Disenchanted, My Chemical Romance.**

"_Your country needs you!" the Sargent Major bellowed, entrancing the crowd of young men gathered round the raised platform in Chicago's main square. "We need to help our allied countries beat the hun! We need them to run back to Germany, with their tails between their legs! The way they deserve to be!" The crowd roared. "Now, I can assure you lads that women love soldiers! Am I right ladies?" The women in the crowd whistled and squealed._

_A 15 year old Edward was caught amongst the chaos, he was running errands for his mother, and walked straight into the recruiting speech. _

"_So step up, boys, and help your country!"Now who will be the first to step up and take on this wonderful task?" The Sargent concluded, and the crowd roared again. _

"_Go on then," An elderly woman said, pushing Edward in direction of the stage, "You aint a coward are you?"_

"_No.." Edward replied._

"_Then go on then!" She pushed the bronze-haired teenager towards the stage. "He does!" The woman shouted, getting the attention of the Sargent._

"_Ah! Come on up then lad!" Edward nervously walked on up to the stage, "So boy, are you ready to take on the responsibility of helping your country and her Allies?"_

"_I-I'm not o-old enough.." Edward had turned 15 a few months ago, and you had to be 17 to join up. _

"_Oh, never mind lad! You're here now, that's what matters eh?" The Sargent continued without leaving a pause for Edward to object, "Now, go over to that table, and write your name down! We'll be contacting you, then before you know it, you'll be in Belgium serving your country! Now off you go boy!" The Sargent turned around to welcome the next man onto the stage. The words buzzed around his head._

_You aint a coward are you?_

"Masen! MASEN!" Corporal Anderson bellowed at me, despite the fact that his mouth was extremely close to my ears.

"Yes sir?" I fidgeted in the knee-deep mud, thankful for the genes that made me 6"2, some of the other, shorter men down here were waist deep, poor sods.

"We will be performing an attack on the German trench 30 yards to the north of our current location. At Oh-Three-Thirty hours you will report to the main dugout to collect further orders. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir." I replied.

"And why are we attacking in the early morning Masen?" Anderson questioned me; within my first week on the front line, the rest of D Company had found out that I was two years underage, and many looked out for me. They heard the story about the old woman who pushed me onto stage, and they regularly made light hearted banter about it, to try and keep spirits up. Corporal Anderson frequently quizzed me on things, he said I have 'potential,' and I should 'keep my knowledge up'

"They'll be less alert, and morale will be down, sir."

"Good lad." He clapped me on the back "Remember, Oh-Three-Thirty, main dugout. Yes?"

"Yes sir"

I decided to pass the time by having something to eat, then writing a quick letter home, since sleeping was nearly impossible, no matter how tired we were. I found my rations, and found the dreaded biscuit browns and pate **[AN – Anyone who does any CCF/ACF type thing, or if some random soldier happens to be reading this will probably have the **_**great pleasure **_**of biscuit browns and pate that are in the British Armies current ration packs. If not – lucky you.] **which we the only thing I had left in my pack. I begrudgingly ate the foul stuff, then threw the rubbish into our rubbish area. I went back to my belongings and got a pen and some paper, which was surprisingly quite dry. I had all my battle prep done, and so decided to write a letter home.

_Dear Mother and Father,_

_In reply to your letter mother, do not worry, I am looking after myself, many of the men are looking out for me as I am so young. I am eating and sleeping well, it is all easy work, we shall beat these Germans quickly and easily. I feel like a man, I believe there is only one thing missing in my life; a girl. I know, I shall have quite some trouble finding her in the midst of war, but I shall find her. _

_I believe that I will be granted leave soon, and I shall see you all soon. I must run now, I promise to write more in my next letter._

_Lots of love,_

_Your loving son,_

_Edward Anthony Masen_

I lied many times in my letters, but I always knew that a few white lies never hurt anyone. They didn't need to know that I haven't eaten a proper meal in 5 weeks. They didn't need to know that I haven't slept a proper nights sleep in about 7 weeks. The last time I slept at all was 3 days ago. They didn't need to know that I can't feel my toes, or that I haven't changed clothes in god knows how long. And it isn't easy work. Far from it. We are fighting a losing battle, everyone's being killed. Their machines guns are firing nearly all the time, and launching gas attacks every week or so. We are doing an attack tonight, a feeble attempt to try and get some land back. We all know we are all probably going to die; but we never say it.

We have us, D company, with C company sharing this trench and dugout, with A and B company in the trenches and dugouts to the east. We are supposed to have D company on duty, with C company sleeping and eating, and vice versa. But since the Hun have upped the fire power, we forget that, and just all go at them, grabbing whatever sleep and food we can.

The soundtrack to our lives are explosions, machine gun fire, and unmanly screams of terror.

I decided then that I would start making my way to the general briefing. I always felt that even though I was a private, I was treated a bit like an Officer, as I was often included in some of the briefings. They said as I had potential of becoming an Officer, I should be included in briefings, and gain experience. I trudged through the mud, finally making my way into the dugout.

I walked through the door, and saw an officer. I stamped my right leg, bringing myself to attention, then brought my right hand up into a salute.

"At ease."

I fell back into a normal stance and listened to the attack plan and the orders that would be taking place in an hours time.

Basically; we were going to crawl up over our trench, over no mans land, and hopefully blow some German's heads off.

We knew it would be hard.

We knew many men would be blown up.

We knew many would not return.

But for our country and our Allies, we would do it.

**0430**

We lined up along the front trench line. We all stood close enough together that each of our legs were in contact with the man next to the legs of the men either side of you . That way, we can all go at around the same time without having to shout "ATTACK!" which would alert the enemy.

I tightened my hand around the pistol grip of my rifle.

I tensed the muscles in my legs.

I breathed in deeply.

I looked up at the moon, and thought.

_Somewhere, someone is looking at that same moon, and is happy._

I felt the gold cross that was underneath my uniform on a chain. I was contemplating taking it off and abandoning it. Surely you don't believe in god in hell?

The tap of feet flowed down the line, and we climbed up over the trench and through the barbed wire.

The machine guns started spitting.

And to my death I went.

**Thanks for reading, and I'd appreciate it if you'd review :) **

**-BrokenMirrors-MyBad**

**(That is my penname, I checked xD)**


	3. I can't believe they were doing this

Unspoken Memories

**I can't believe they were doing this **[Spring, 1912]

_But no one would listen,_

_'Cos no one else cared._

**Leave out all the rest, Linkin Park**

I looked around my tiny excuse for a bedroom, it used to be the airing cupboard, but as soon as my parents found out my 'problem' they moved me here. They said I was the spawn of the devil, that I don't deserve to have my old room. Both my parents hated me now. The only person I had left was my little sister Cynthia, but my parents started banning her from seeing me, as my madness was contagious.

They're talking about me right now.

Mum wants me to have an exorcism.

Dad wants me to be sent to an asylum.

But not the local asylum; the one where you can hear the screams from, if you listen carefully at night time. He wants me to go to one further away, that way nobody will know me, and they won't be embarrassed of me.

I am an embarrassment to my family; they want to get somewhere in the social ladder, and a mad daughter isn't going to help them get anywhere. Cynthia is perfect for that; A mother, a father and one perfect daughter.

Now, let me tell you about myself. My name is Mary Alice, but my friends call me, well, used to call me, they are banned from seeing me now, Alice. I prefer Alice, Mary is a stupid name. I am 11 years old, and I live in Biloxi, Mississippi. Ever since I can remember, I have been able to see the future.

It started with innocent things that my parents found cute, and they didn't take me seriously. Like when I told my mum there was a new doll in the local toy shop, or that my teacher at school was having a baby. Then as I got older, it turned into different things. I would know if a murder would take place, and go into hysterics when no one would believe me, then it would happen. When I told them my Father would lose his job, they didn't believe me, then he did lose his job. That's when they started to change. Then they started to get embarrassed and ashamed by me. I couldn't help it when I had a vision in front of company, couldn't they see that I hated them as much as they did? They hurt my head terribly. Soon enough I wasn't allowed to be downstairs when we had visitors, I was just "Out with friends" or "Doing homework." It was never "She's locked in her bedroom, a disappointment to her family."

My friends had all heard of my visions, and they all though it was brilliant; but it was the adults that were the problem. My friends found it awesome that I could tell them when the cutest boy at our school would break up with his girlfriend, or if a teacher was going to do a surprise test. But their parents soon heard us talking, and warned their children away. My friends who had been fine with my visions started listening to their parents lies, and on the odd event I ever saw someone from the small window in my room, they would sneer or scowl at me. I didn't care though; I still had Cynthia.

Cynthia stuck by me, despite what our parents said, she would sneak me food when our parents told me I wasn't worthy of their food. She would listen to me when I complained, and she kept me up to date with the local trends everyone was wearing, and for that I was thankful. I have always been interested in fashion, I loved it. But since I've been locked in here with just a plain pink dress, I yearned for it even more. But as our parents learned of her secret food-givings during the night, and her talking with me, they moved me into this tiny airing cupboard, and forbade Cynthia from seeing me. I knew she still loved me though. When she went to school in the mornings, and I prepared dinner for the family under the watchful, sneering eyes of my mother, I would watch her go up the garden path with her friends. She would always turn around and smile at me. I hope she wouldn't get teased at school for being the girl with the 'psycho' sister.

I guess that was how I ended up here. Sat in a stuffy third class seat in a train. My dad was in first class, and he told me to stay here and to try not to freak anyone out. I told him I'd try my best. He says we were going somewhere, that he was doing me a favour. I didn't ask where we were going, we were going to be on the train for a good few days, and at the speed we were going, that was a long way away. I never knew that the world was so big. I'd never been out of Biloxi before.

"Are you OK dear?" A kindly old lady asked.

"Yes, thank you." She nodded and took her seat. If this woman was paying attention to me, then it would be hard to not freak her out. If Father found out that I had, he would probably slap me.

"Where are you parents sweetheart?" She had asked me the next day.

"My-My Father's in another carriage." She looked at me questioningly. "There weren't enough seats he-he had to get one in another carriage." I lied, she looked pointedly at the empty seat next to mine

"Why hasn't he come to see if you're OK?" I turned away to rest my head on the cool windowpanes.

"Because he doesn't love me anymore," I whispered, and that truth shattered my heart into a million pieces.

I liked that lady, she talked to me a lot during the journey. I learnt that she was called Sylvia, and she had two children and three grandchildren. She had a dog called George, and she likes Lavender and gardening. She was a retired post-office worker. She told me she was travelling to Chicago to visit her newly born grand daughter.

"So, where are you going?" she asked me on the fourth day of the journey.

"I don't know really, my Father says he's doing me a favour by taking me somewhere."

"Oh.."

Erm, Old Ladies POV? XD

This girl in the seat over the aisle was lovely and sweet, well mannered too, her parents had done a good job of raising her. Sometimes she daydreamed, and it was very sweet to watch. I felt sorry for the girl, I don't know why her father is in a different carriage when there is a perfectly decent seat next to her.

"Do you have a boyfriend then?" I asked her, she is such a delightful girl I'd be surprised if she didn't have someone.

"Um..No.. My..My parents don't allow it." She said with a pained expression.

The train ground to a slow stop.

"JULIETTA ASYLUM!" The Conductor called, and a man barged into our carriage.

"Mary. Come on. It's your stop you stupid child."

"Yes Father." He grabbed Mary by the arm and dragged her out of the door, and stood in full view of the window in our carriage. He was shouting at her, that was obvious, and he held a suitcase. Just one suitcase, not one each, and it was very small, so it must have been Mary's. I don't know why the stopped at the Asylum, there is clearly nothing wrong with Mary. The man turned to point at me through the glass, and starting shouting at Mary again. Mary shook her head vigorously, which cost her a slap round the face, and another shout. She shook her head slower this time, with tears streaming down her face. He grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her to the front door of the asylum, which was adjoined to it's train station; for deliveries and new patients I assumed. She turned around to look at me; there was already a bruise forming on her pale cheek, she waved at me. I waved back.

The trains wheels started to roll.

Goodbye, Mary.

Back to Alice's POV

As Father dragged me into the dreary room, which I now knew was the asylum, my heart sank. I little bit of me still latched onto some strange concept that we were simply visitors; surely my Mother and Father wouldn't abandon their eldest daughter at an Asylum would they?

A cruel voice in my head told me they would.

They were.

"Come _on _Mary," He dragged me in my the wrist, as if I wasn't capable of walking myself. We walked, well I was dragged to the main desk. Screams echoed through the corridors.

"Name."

"Brandon." Father stated to the evil looking woman behind the desk.

"Mary Alice?" She sneered at me over the desk.

"Yes." I squeaked.

"Speak UP!" Father slapped me

"Yes miss." I said a bit louder that time

"Right. Just sign here Sir, and we'll have this creature off your hands," Father swiftly signed on the dotted line. I now belonged to the Asylum. I was now officially disowned by my family.

"Come along child." I trailed after the woman. I struggled at her pace, I was extremely short for my age, and I was carrying my suitcase. But I knew better than to ask her to slow down. We walked through corridor after corridor. Each one had a door, and they were so close together that it showed how small the rooms behind them were. We turned a corner, and went passed rooms from which I could hear screaming. I shuddered as I walked past them; "Treatment room 1." "Treatment room 2" Many followed.

We came to what I assumed was a storeroom, and she ordered me to place my suitcase in there.

I had a feeling I'd never see my belongings again. She slammed the door, and strode off in another direction. I assumed to follow. We came into another room, which was tiled, and it had a woman standing in there. The woman from the main desk suddenly removed my dress, and I found myself standing naked in front of them. Before I had time to react, I was blasted with icy cold water, out of a hose. The water was flowing so strongly I struggled to stay upright and I was sure I was going to be left with bruises. I was given a thin grey dress, and quickly put it on, even though I was still soaking wet. I noticed the dress had writing on; _Brandon. 55852. 05-01-1901. _Brandon – My last name, I figured I won't be known my Mary or Alice anymore. 55852, I now have a number. How degrading. 05-01-1901 - my birthday. I was shivering, and the woman grabbed my arm again and dragged me down another corridor. She took a key out of her pocket whilst she was still walking briskly, and when we stopped at a door, she unlocked it and pushed me inside. I turned around and she slammed the door in my face.

I had the lock mechanism inside the door move.

I turned around into the darkness; I was scared.

I have never been so terrified in my whole life.

How long am I going to be here?

Will I ever get out?

What's going to become of me?

I tried to peer through the darkness. I saw a mattress, and a thin blanket. I walked over and sat on the bed.

I felt the familiar pain run through my head, and tried to stop another vision coming. But then I wondered why I should. I'm in an Asylum now, why should I stop trying to be normal? It was obvious I'm a freak. So I just watched the vision.

_My door opened with a giant groan, and a big man walked inside. He had rotten yellow teeth and a scary stare. He was so tall and muscularly. He came towards me with a large needle, I froze. "Stop! Stop!" I screamed._

"Stop!" I screamed as I came back to reality. I was sweating, but at least I wasn't shivering anymore. I turned over on the thin mattress, and tried to get the blanket to cover my body.

Am I really crazy?

Do I deserve to be here?

How's Cynthia?

She'll be better now she doesn't have me around, they'll be no more arguing, and she won't have my bad influence. I don't want her to catch whatever I have.

I gazed into the darkness, my vision had got better now, I could see my cell fully now.

I had the mattress I was laying on, and a bucket.

I can't believe they were doing this.

I can't believe they had done this.

**[As I said, I have now done Alice's and Edwards first chapters. It looks at the moment as if they are two different stories, but it will all work out soon. I am now going to plan the rest of the story, and then I will write the chapters and upload them. I am going on holiday soon, and I'll bring my sexy laptop with me, I'll probably write a few chapters on the ferry and while we're there.**

**But until the next chapter, or if I reply to a review (hint hint, review please :D)**

**-BrokenMirrors-MyBad]**


	4. Until Now

Unspoken Memories

**Until Now **[Autumn, 1917]

_Say goodbye to the world_

**Any other world, MIKA**

_Land exploding._

_Men exploding._

_Horses exploding._

_Earth, exploding._

_That's all I can hear._

_Bang._

_Crash._

_Boom._

_I can't stop thinking about it._

_This is my life now._

I can hear something else though, something that's not explosions, but is rising quickly to it. I try to listen to whatever it is, but I can't seem to tune out the other noises that are in my head. I prise my eyes open, and see the face of one of my friends, although he's a higher rank than me, Henry.

"Eddie-boy? You there? Eddie? Edward..." Growing concerned, his voice rose "Edward? Edward?"

I started shaking, then I realised it wasn't my body causing this action, it was Henry, shaking me.

"Henry. Yes?"

"You all right there? You spaced out for... a while."

"How long? Did anyone else notice?"

"No, only me."

_Bang. Crash._ The noises in my head wouldn't stop. I knew they were in my head as no one seemed to be reacting as if there was an attack taking place.

"Good."

_I looked up over the trenches, and saw men in long grey coats charging at us, firing. _

"_Quick! Somebody! They're coming! The Hun are coming! They're going to blow us all to bits! Someone do something!" I shouted. I turned around but nobody was there; they had abandoned me, left me with the vicious Germans charging towards me. I run quickly into our dugout, into the invisible corners of the room, and curled myself up into a ball. They obviously weren't too worried about being attacked, otherwise they wouldn't have ran away, so they won't be annoyed at me for running off; as they had done so themselves. I sat shaking into the corner, until I heard footsteps; hobnailed boots echoing from the walls._

"_No. No. No. No." I whispered rocking myself. This wasn't a manly way to die, but at least I hadn't ran off like the rest of them. What I couldn't understand was why the Germans had send only one soldier to come and scope the place out, for all they know there could be a whole platoon in here. "No. No. No." I wished._

"_Edward?" The words echoed. "Edward?"_

"Edward?" I was being shaken once again. "Edward! Right. That's it, we need to see Major, you've been doing this for weeks now." I was hauled up.

"Get off me you filthy Hun!" I shouted. I turned around to look at the man that was probably about to kill me, either that or take me as a Prisoner of War, I couldn't decided which one I would prefer.

Be killed; Pretty straight forward. I would die. But being killed meant I wouldn't be tortured for information I did not know.

POW; I would be alive, but probably be tortured for information that a 16 year old Private wouldn't know.

But that thought was pointless anyway. After I had spun round in my captors grasp, I saw that I was supported up by Henry.

"Henry! The Hun? Are-Are they gone? Why did you all leave me there?"

"Edward! Edward! What are you on about? The Hun never came, OK? We're going to take you to the Major; he'll know what to do, you need to go somewhere, you're so young, you shouldn't be here, they shouldn't have let you join. You are being affected too much here. Come on." He dragged me to our Major's office.

He knocked on the door, well it was actually wooden planks nailed together. _Classy._

"Enter."

We marched in, and saluted. Stood at attention.

"At ease." We fell into a more natural way of standing, I was still shaking slightly.

"So. What is it?"

"Private Masen has been having.. attacks, let's say for a few weeks now. He keeps saying that the Hun are coming, and .. experiencing assaults. He'll go completely unresponsive. He did it on the attack the other night. I just found him shaking in a corner."

"Well.." Major clicked his tongue. "I think that you should go back, on sick leave. There is no point in you being here If you are not fit for military service. We can get someone to take your place relatively soon. It would be a burden to have someone, like you." He grinned.. Well it wasn't a grin, it was more of a sly smile, evil almost. "We have a medical convoy coming down in a few days, you can be taken back with them. Once you are well again, you will report back to service. I shall have that all arranged. Until then, you can stay in the hospital. Under supervision. We don't want you to hurt yourself, or go walkabout do we?"

"No, Sir." I had to agree. He was my superior, what he said was law; anyway, he didn't need my confirmation, what he says goes.

"Right. What's your name?"

"Masen. Edward Masen."

"Rank?"

"Private."  
"Number?"

"200601159"

"Right. And you?"

"Corporal Cavalier, Sir."

"Right. Corporal Cavalier. Take this note, report to the hospital wing immediately, then report to your sergeant for any further orders. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You are dismissed." We turned and saluted, and I tripped over my own two feet marching out again, I was shaking so much.

We rounded the corner, and we came to face another soldier, but I immediately cowered in fear as soon as I saw the uniform.

"'S Alright Edward, It's just Corporal Anderson." I looked over Henry's shoulders from my position hidden behind him, at the sympathetic man behind him; he must have heard some rumour going around. I've been getting that a lot lately; people thinking I'm mad, or something.

_Bang!_

_Crash!_

Here we go again.

I felt myself start shaking.

I felt the grip that was holding me up tighten.

I felt the grip that as holding me loosen again.

I felt myself falling.

I felt the mud splash into my face.

I heard the word "freak," muttered to me.

-.-

I awoke in a bed, in what I assumed to be a field hospital. There was a curtain around me, and I could make out a lone figure standing outside the curtain; his dim figure illuminated by the faint lights. I lay there alone, with the sounds of the battlefield echoing in my head. Every ten minutes or so, the person outside would pop their heads around the curtain, why, I wasn't sure.

Did they think I was that crazy that I'd go and hurt myself?

I got fed regularly, which was a shock for my body; it was so used to being fed not very much not very often. I was now getting a hot meal a day, and the rest was dry biscuits and pate, but that was the norm now.

I waited for the medical convoy to come, and take me back. I sat in my bed. That's all I did. I had nothing else to do; apart from sleeping and eating.

I believe it was three days later, or three long sleeps later, at least, that the convoy arrived. A man came in, and injected with me with something, I had no idea what it was.

As I began to lose consciousness I realised it was a sedative.

As I came to again, I could feel the Jeep I was in jolting up and down on the uneven, shelled road. When I opened my eyes, and looked around, one of the men in the back said;

"He's awake." A woman, yes woman, the first woman I had seen in weeks from leaving the training camp back in the States, came forward and injected me with another sedative.

They kept doing that every time I woke up.

Soon enough, I woke up not to a jolting Jeep, but a rocking boat. I was on my way home. But I knew from my journey to France that it took nearly a week to get there. And that was if we weren't hit by a German torpedo first.

My room was a normal cabin really, normal bed, small bathroom. There was even two books in there, they were probably left behind by the person staying in before me, but I don't really care.

I stayed alone in the room for the entire journey, except for a kind lady who bought me dinner everyday. And when we were just off the coast, there was a U-boat scare, and we all had to get our life jackets on in case we had to abandon ship in the event of a tornado hitting the ship.

The noises the ship's engines made sounded a lot like the battlefields, and that made me very nervous. Thankfully though I was given some different clothes, as my uniform really made me shake. It just reminded me of how close we all were to death, and it terrified me.

Every time there was a loud noises in the engine room, I dove under my bed, thinking it was an attack, or something.

I used this time alone to think; where was I going? Would I go back to the battlefields? And if I did, would I get terrified again, and have to leave again? If I did, then came back again, would it continue in one vicious circle?

As we got into shallow waters, the ship started vibrating almost, and the engines worked a little harder. This started to bring back horrible memories, and I heard the foghorn blast from the top of the ship.

Bomb! There's a bomb.

I dived underneath the bed, and waited. Waited for my death, I supposed.

After.. Well I don't know how long actually, I was to consumed in horror to account for time, a man came into my room.

"Private Mason?" What if it was a trick? What if he was actually a German? Sneaked onto our ship, to kill us all? I decided to stay out of view.

Suddenly, a head popped down, "There you are," I shrunk back as far as I could under the bed. "Come out. Now." I curled up on myself, _how unmanly, _I thought. But then again, being whisked away from war isn't very manly either. "Well, we're going to have to do this the hard way." He said, and walked into the corridor. "Doctor! In here please!" I heard shuffling of feet in the hallway, then a muffled conversation. Then person, a different person than from earlier, as it was a different pair of shoes, came over to the bed, and bent down so he could see me. He shifted under the bed as well, and I noticed something in his hand that I hadn't first realised was there; a needle. I tried to squirm away from him, but it was no use. He gripped hard onto my arm, and injected the contents of the syringe into my bloodstream.

The familiar feeling overtook me, and I fell into unconsciousness, but not after first feeling the nausea that came with the sedative. They didn't even wait for me to be fully out of it, before they pulled me out from my hiding place.

I woke up twice on the journey to .. well, who knows. And each time, I was knocked out again within a few minutes of waking up.

I tried to look for any familiar landmarks as we drove, in the few minutes from coming round, and being out under again. But in-between the two I was so muddled up, it was hard to concentrate, so in the end I gave up. They were taking me somewhere to help me. This was His Royal Majesty's Armed forces. They wouldn't do anything to harm one of their soldiers...

...Would they?

-.-

As I came to again for the third time, I was hauled over someone's back, in a sort of rough Firemans lift, walking towards a building. The last thing I saw before entering the dim lit building, were the two words that sealed my fate.

"_Julietta Asylum,"_

I had always thought that the Army would help protect those men out fighting for king and country.

Until now.

**[Pff, that's probably really repetitive, but hey. Quite funny how I wrote most of that in the middle of the English channel, coming back from being on holiday, which is the same thing that Edward was doing at the end of the chapter (Apart from the whole holiday thing :L) Sorry for the delay too, firstly as I don't actually like Edward (He screws everything up, but I am by no means a Team Jacob) I would like to dedicate the character Henry Cavalier, to my dog, Henry who is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. I think that's it..Yeah, well, review please :)]**


	5. The Light In My Darkness

Unspoken Memories

**A Light In The Darkness. [Summer, 1918]**

_When you run into my arms,_

_We steal a perfect moment,_

_Let the monsters see you smile,_

_Let them see you smile_

**Life Is Beautiful, Vega4**

I leant against the cold, cold wall of my cell. I felt my lank greasy hair fall past my shoulders; it had stopped growing a while back. I clung on to two things; Alice, that's my name, I think. And Jasper, my Jasper. I had visions of him regularly. My tall blonde saviour. Whenever I was caught in a vision by the evil Doctor, he would hit me until I told him what I saw. I would normally tell what I had seen, unless it was of Jasper. I would lie, make something up if he caught me having a vision of my Jasper. That was my business, not any body else's. I don't know anything about Jasper, other than he's blonde, and absolutely gorgeous. At least, I think he's gorgeous. I don't really have anyone I remember to compare him with.. And I know that he will make me happy. Very happy.

But then again; Do things like me have happiness? Does an Alice get to be happy? Was I an Alice? And a Jasper, did a Jasper make an Alice happy? Was I even an Alice? What was an Alice? Or a Jasper? Do things like what I am get a name?

I bit my lip in frustration, trying not to scream. I knew what would happen if I did scream;

_I was staring at the darkness in front of me when my door opened with a giant groan, and a big man walked inside. He had rotten yellow teeth and a scary stare. He was so tall and muscularly. He came towards me with a large needle, I froze. _

"_Stop! Stop!" I screamed at him, but I knew this would do more harm than good. He gripped my arm in an iron grasp, and shoved the needle into my arm. He pushed down the plunger, and the foreign liquid was forced into my bloodstream. He stood up, and punched me, causing me to land on the floor._

"_That's what scum like you get." He strode out the door, locking it in the process, plunging me into darkness once again._

Scum. Was that what I was? I was a scum. Not an Alice, a scum. Jasper and Scum..But there was also Whitlock. Jasper Whitlock.. Did things get two names? A little thing inside me told me yes. So I was Alice Scum? I tried whispering it, and the sound scared me, it sounded really scary, like a slithering monster, like the noises I could hear sometimes, but they weren't were I was, they were the other side of the thing that kept me in here. I think. I don't know what is not here. Was there anything? Was there only black? Was there only what I was feeling? In other places, can you get up and move around? I knew it was what was in the sharp things that was put into my skin stopped me from moving. The only thing I can move now is my head, but now whatever it is in me restricting me from moving is getting weaker, as I can move my fingers a bit.

My big door opened, and some not-darkness fell into where I was. I tried as hard as I could to hide myself, but I couldn't move very much, whatever they had put into my body, and the fear both had paralysed me.

What had I done? I hadn't screamed, I hadn't done anything. Why didn't I see this coming? I didn't noticed I had started whimpering.

"Hey, hey now," He said in a strangely comforting voice. "You don't have to be afraid of me, okay?" He came closer to me, and knelt down beside me. "Now, that doesn't look very comfortable, does it? Why don't you go on your mattress over there?" He asked me.

"I-I can't m-move.." I whispered, as loud as I could manage. Other than the screams of terror when the large man came into my room, I hadn't heard my own voice in a while. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Would you mind if I moved you?" He asked.

"I-If you don't m-mind.. You d-don't have t-to.." I mumbled, I was confused on how he could hear me, and why he was being nice to me.

"I don't mind at all," He picked me up easily, but gently, and my arms hung down limply below me. He laid me down on the bed, and moved me around so that I looked comfortable; and I was. This was so much nicer than my awkward position where I had landed after the man's punch that day.

"T-Thank you..." I muttered again.

"Don't worry about it, so what's your name?"

"Alice, S-Sir.." I replied nervously.

"Alice ...?" He repeated.

"I-I don't understand.."

"Do you have another name?"

"I was called s-scum by the man who used to come h-here.. S-So I think I'm Alice Scum.."

The beautiful man in front of me tutted, and his wonderful golden eyes clouded over with something. Something bad.

"Alice, I don't think your last name is Scum." I cocked my head a tiny bit to the side. "Scum is.. Scum is a bad word, and insult.. The man wasn't being nice to you.. I think you have a different last name... Do you know who I am?" He asked me.

"Are you J-Jasper?" I asked him

"I'm sorry, no I am not. Who is Jasper?"

"It doesn't matter."

"No, I am Dr. Cullen." I froze at the word Doctor. "No, don't worry, I won't hurt you. I am your new Doctor, I am here to help you. Now, little one, why are you in this place?"

I immediately knew I could trust Dr. Cullen, something about him.. He wasn't like the other Doctors and Workers here.

"I.. I see things.. That haven't happened yet.. But they come true.. Most of the time.. My family sent me here to get better .."

"Hmm.. I'll be back in a minute, OK? I promise." I watched him leave. If he was my new Doctor, that's good right? He's very nice, and he believes me. He didn't say otherwise. He came through into my darkness again.

"Do you.. Do you believe me?"

"Do I believe you what?"

"Believe in what I … What I see?" He paused for a minute.

"I think I do little one, I think I do." He smiled at me, and somehow my face remembered how to smile back, and it felt strange to do so. "I have something I think you'll like," He smiled at me. I cocked my head at him again. He held up something in between his thumb and index finger. It was small, and covered in something clear that you could see through, but you could still see it was there. It was very pretty

"What is it?"

"It's a sweet, little one, it's a boiled sweet. They're very nice." He unwrapped it, and placed it in my hand. I looked down at my hand, and bit my lip, then looked up at him.

"Oh.. I'm sorry, I forgot." He picked it out of my small hand and popped it in my mouth. It was amazing!

"Do you like it?" I nodded. "I saw some in the staff room, and I knew they wouldn't mind missing just one," He smiled at me, and I, surprisingly smiled back. He sighed. "I have to go now, Little One, I'm sorry, you have to be put in the darkness again.. I'm sorry. But I'll come to visit you again, I promise, OK? And when I do, we can leave the door open, and let some light in."

"Light, is that not-darkness?" I asked him.

"Yes, it is Little One."

"Goodbye Dr. Cullen,"

"Call me Carlisle,"

"Good bye Carlisle."

"Goodbye Little One," He walked out, and shut the door quietly, putting me in the darkness once again.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

The light in my darkness.

**[Right, I hope that wasn't too crap for you :L I just remembered, that there is like only a week left of the holidays, and I still have this big bit of science coursework to do.. So.. Yeah, sorry :) I will try to update. And I'm sorry I'm not updating much on this story as much as I have done in my past ones, I don't know why I'm not really :/ Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review :)]**


	6. Shakes, and shouts

Unspoken Memories

**Shakes and Shouts [Winter, 1917]**

_Do you know what's worth fighting for?  
When it's not worth dying for?  
Does it take your breath away  
And you feel yourself suffocating?  
Does the pain weigh out the pride? _

**21 Guns, Greenday**

I don't know how long I've been here for, every day melts into one long endless nightmare. I'm lucky though, apparently, as one worker told me that some patients were kept in complete darkness. I had my bare lightbulb in the ceiling to keep me company. It hangs from the ceiling, with cobwebs attaching it to the ceiling, which was aggravating, as how come the spiders could get in and out of this hell-hole, but I – A human, with rights, was stuck here? In an 8x8 cell? I haven't seen a single soul in... who knows, apart from the workers who give me some measly food every now and then, when they could be bothered. I've stopped needing food as much as I used to, you can't move around very much here, so I don't need any fuel for my body, as I'm not using any energy.

The door opened, and a man shoved a wooden bowl with what I assumed to be some sort of porridge, and a chunk of hard bread.

"I helped your country!" I shouted at him. How can he treat me like that? When I went, risking my life, for his country, and get shoved in a place like this. The least he could do was show a little bit of respect.

But obviously not.

He spat into the cell, and turned and slammed the door, I jumped. Where there more bombs? I had the mechanism clunk together. I could hear him walk away, down the corridor; his footsteps echoing of the walls, making me jump with each step. By the time I could no longer hear him, I was shaking in terror. It reminded me too much of being back in the trenches. And then I realised, I was alone again.

Lighbulb, porridge, bread, and I. And a spider, of course.

I don't like spiders.

I decided that I would eat today, not really caring what medication they had put in my food this time. I don't care. There's no point in caring. Everytime I try to say something, no one listened. Why would they? I'm just a madman. That's why I'm here... Then why do I feel perfectly sane? Well I'm not, obviously. Why would I be here? Great, I'm not even making any sense anymore.

What's the point in speaking anymore? There's no one to talk to, there's no reason to talk. There's no one to care if I stopped speaking, no one to care if I still spoke. The only people I ever had a chance of speaking to never cared what I said anyway, the event earlier clearly proved that.

So it's settled.

I shall never speak again.

For as long as I live, which will probably not be very long in this place, I shall not utter another word.

There's no point.

And so, with a promise to myself, a promise no one shall ever know, I sat shaking in my tiny cell in the Biloxi Asylum.

**Yeah, sorry peopleee :) Science coursework took ages, like, and apparently it's worth 20% of our final mark, but people say it doesn't matter so everyone was like :O What do I do? Anyway, yeah, then school starts. I know, excuses excuses :L**

**The next 5, yes 5, chapters are Alicey xD So that's good :) I prefer Alicey.. What with being a girl, and all... Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, and the longness of the authors note :\ So.. Next chapter should be up... Sometime.. When I can get round to writing again. **

**I'm brooding (Big word, learnt it in English today ;) on a weird idea for a long one-shot, Jalice, of course, and a H2O idea..**

**The Whitest Shade of Pale [Changed my penname :)]**

**xx**

**(PLEASE, I beg of you, review pleasee?)**


	7. Freak Like Me?

Unspoken Memories

**Freak Like Me? [Winter, 1917]**

_**But I keep your memory  
You visit me in my sleep  
My darling, who knew? **_

**Who knew, P!nk**

_The beautiful blonde man, skin riddled with scars stood there whilst other people like himself threw themselves at him, teeth bared.. The man, whose name wasn't known let them attack him, but in the end the fight was always won by him, and new crescent shaped scars were added to his body. The man then walked away from the piles of mangled bodies, sparkling in the Texan sun, with a pained look on his face._

I gasped, gripping onto my long hair, which colour I did not know. Colour? What was that again? Black. That was a colour. Everything was a black. So what was colour? I gripped onto my hair as if it was the only way of holding onto my sanity. My head no longer hurt when I was about to have a vision. I didn't feel pain anymore. I was a black void, devoid of all emotion, and feelings. I sucked in some stale air.

_Tall beautiful man, different to last time. Running. Faster. Very fast. Sped through the forest, his perfectly kept hair not affected by the air whipping past his ears. He continued to weave through the trees at a shocking speed, not at all phased by the trees her barely missed. He stopped abruptly, and his face shot up, he sniffed the air once, twice, his eyes holding a feral look to them. He took off again in another direction, following an imaginary trail. He let out a low snarl, startling the young girl kept in the small room, seeing it from a different perspective. He entered a clearing in the trees where a group of deer were grazing. The blonde man leapt towards a deer, and before it had any time to react, the man was already latched onto the animals throat, draining it dry of the precious red liquid. The man finished, looked down at the carcass, disgusted with himself._

"Carlisle..." I whispered.

Why did I just see the only person that had ever been kind to me, drinking blood from an animal? I do need to be in this crazy house. I belong here. They were right. Wait. Who was right? Why was I not somewhere not here? What was it that was not where I am right now? I'm so confused.

_First blonde man. Bodies. Carlisle slaughtering another animal and draining it of it's blood. First blonde man again. Pained face. Alone. Animals scared away from Carlisle. First man again. Beautiful. Eyes as .. Red? Like blood. Red blood. Carlisle turns. Once black eyes turn to Gold. Gold, like sun. Sun. Sun makes people outside sparkle. But I didn't sparkle.. Did I? Makes people who like blood sparkle. Did I drink blood? No. My eyes were blue.. Like.. Like water. Clean water._

_Flickers._

_Between Carlisle and his golden eyes, and animal carcasses. To beautiful blonde man and his blood red pain filled eyes. _

The images were playing through my head like some twisted cinema projector. I bit my lip to contain my scream, but it didn't work. I gripped my hair and tried to silence my screams. Carlisle? Help me. Tell me that you're not going to drink me too. Carlisle? He was nice. What if my old Doctor came back? I tried to focus on things that were going to happen.. The past? No, Future. I tried to focus on the future, but I could only see the sickening images of the blonde man, whose name I had betrayed by forgetting.

_Blood. Bodies. Golden. Red._

I rolled over, and screamed. I immediately shoved my dirty fist into my mouth, but it was too late. The damage was done. I had screamed. I laid on my dirty mattress with deranged thoughts rushing through my brain. I continued gripping my long hair.

And then the door opened. Carlisle!

But as the figure came into the light, he didn't move as gracefully as Carlisle, nor was he as beautiful.

"I 'eard you screaming." I whimpered. "It's time for yer treatment anyway." He picked me up by the collar of my ratty dress, and dragged me into the corridor. The lights were too bright, and it hurt. This is the first time I've been out of here, and I wasn't used to it. He dragged my down the corridor, and into another room. I was flung onto a chair, and strapped in.

"Elizabeth?!" The man called, and I felt the presence of another person enter the room, and I cowered.

"Yes?" Answered an unusually pleasant voice.

"Cut it's hair."

"How much?"

"Oh, all of it. It's having a shock treatment in a minute." I prised my eyes open against the bright light, and saw the big man leave the room. The woman came towards me with a pair of scissors, and I shied away from the with a whimper.

"Hey, come on now. I'm really sorry, but I have to do this. You and me would both be in trouble if I don't do this." She brought the the scissors towards my head, and stared shearing away at my precious hair whilst tears ran down my face. "I'm so sorry," Once she was finished I brought my hand up and felt the fuzzy remains of my hair on my scalp. "Robert? I'm finished." The big man came into the room again, and dragged me out.

I was carried into another room, this one much darker than the last, all the elec..elec.. elec_tricity _was flowing into one part of the room. I could see better here; There was a chair in the middle of the room, and it reminded me of something, something from when I was not here... Dentist, some part of my brain told me, it was like a Dentist's chair. But I didn't have enough time to look at it, as I was picked up roughly by a worker, and shoved onto the seat.

I was bound to the chair with leather straps, and another strap was tied round my head. The large man went to a box the other side of the room, and pulled down on a large lever.

I was shaking. Hurt, pain and fear coursed through my veins like a wildfire. My body convulsed but was held down by the tightening restraints. I was losing my grip on consciousness, but I held onto to things whilst I entered the darkness; The pale soldier, and Carlisle.

I would find my pale soldier, Jasper, and I wished for Carlisle. Carlisle would come wouldn't he? He _had _to, I need him to come back. But who would want to be with a freak like me?

**Sorry about the wait and blah blah blah...**

**Review ? For me? **


	8. One Of Us

Unspoken Memories

One of us [Winter, 1917]

_**If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain,  
If you cut me with a knife it's still the same,  
And I know her heart is beating;  
And I know that I am dead.  
Yet the pain here that I feel,  
Try and tell me it's not real;  
For it seems that I still have a tear to shed.**_

**Tears to shed, Tim Burton's; Corpse Bride – The Soundtrack.**

_She walked up the aisle, moving gracefully; a trait she also shared with her sister.. If she we here. No she wouldn't think about that. This was her day, and she wouldn't let.. the past interrupt that. She was supposed to think about her future, not about the past. Her Father's grip tightened on her arm,in a comforting way, of course. Not like he used to do to Mary Alice.. They used to think she was too young to know what was happening. They used to think that she didn't know what the names they called her dear sister meant. They didn't think that she knew where they were sending Mary Alice. They didn't believe she _knew what monsters they were. _She came to the end of the aisle, and looked into the loving eyes of Peter, her adoring Fiancé, soon to be husband. She needed to forget. This marriage – This was the end of the last chapter of her life, and the opening of her new one, with Peter. She felt that something was missing, something was incomplete, there was something that needed to be done before she could move on, and start her new life with Peter. She thought while the Vicar was preparing his speech. Peter watched his beautiful wife's eyes, watched with curiosity as the pained look that had always stayed in her eyes for as long as he had known her, that had become part of her, disappear._

_Cynthia was to visit Mary Alice._

I smiled, a foreign curve travelled across my face. Someone who I could remember from when I wasn't here would come and see me. Someone who loved me despite being a freak. Just as I was revelling in the thoughts of seeing Cynthia, my door opened and the smile immediately left my face. The figure came towards me, only a silhouette as I couldn't see because of the harsh light behind the person. It knelt down next to me, and I could see the persons features.

Carlisle!

"Hello, Little one."

"H-Hello, Dr. Cullen.. I-I mean Carlisle," I noticed his eyes – before he left, they were a deep onyx, but now they were a vibrant buttery gold.

"Have you had any.. visions, recently, Little one?" I didn't know what to say, should I tell him? That I saw him – the only person ever to speak to me like an equal – drinking animal blood like a deranged beast? So I stayed quiet.

"How long have you been here, Mary Alice?"

"What year is it?"

"1917,"I sucked in a breath and tried counting on my fingers, and failing.

"How-How long has it been since Nineteen-Twelve? I can't.. work it out.. I forget.." I whispered.

"5 years." He said flatly. "5 years you've been here."

"As long as I can remember.. I can .. I can see things, my parents thought it was sweet as I never saw anything bad. Then I started seeing.. I started bad things. Like death. I didn't like it, and I screamed a lot. Mother and Father scared away all my friends.. And tried to keep my sister away. But Cynthia ignored them, and she used to bring me food, and clothes. I like clothes." I smiled at him, then looked down at my dress. "This dress isn't nice. It's scratchy. I miss my old dresses, my pink silk one was my favourite.. Anyway. I was 11, and I saw this.. this man, and he got killed by this other man. But the killer-man, he didn't leave the man.. He _drunk him._ That scared me, and then mother and father took me here." I moved closer to his ear. "I don't like it here."

"I don't think anyone would like it here, Little one. Have you seen anything else lately?"

"I saw this man.. and he was very beautiful. His name's Jasper. He's going to love me. When I'm like you."

"Like me?"

"Um.. and this man, called Jasper, he killed a man and.. and he drunk him, but he didn't like it, because he doesn't like killing people. And I saw you Doctor! You are like my Jasper, but you ate an animal, didn't you? I saw you. You don't like eating animals. But you have to! It's better than eating people. That's not nice." I frowned. "But Jasper doesn't know any different. I still love him. He doesn't want to eat people, but he thinks that's the only way. I feel sad for Jasper."

He put his arm round me, and I felt that his arm was colder than I was.

"Aren't you cold?"

"I suppose I am, but you must be cold too, aren't you?"

"I'm used to it, it's very cold here. Come closer." He bent over closer and I whispered in his ear. "I like it cold, the rats don't like it cold, they've gone now."

"The rats?"

"Yes, it's too cold for them, so they ran away. I don't like the rats. I like kittens, I used to have a kitten.. Then mother gave it away to Cynthia. But Cynthia deserved her, because Cynthia isn't a freak, like me."

"You're not a freak little one."

"Then why am I here?!" I gushed desperately.

"Because you're different, and humans don't like things that are different, things that they don't believe things. You **are not **a freak, Alice."

"Yes I am," I replied sadly. "I would have a family if I wasn't here. They'd love me." He wiped a tear away from my cheek with his cold hand. Why was he this close to me? If I was right.. If he really did drink animals, if he really did run extra fast, did that change anything? What if he was.. I turned my head towards the darker part of the darkness, where I knew he was sitting.

"You're not human, are you?"

**Hello peoplee :)**

**Thanks for reading :)**

**Thanks to all my reviewers.**

**And for the 25 of you who favourited and/or alerted – Thanks, perhaps you might review next time? **

**Byeee**

**-Err What's my penname again? Oh yeah! WhitestShadeOfPale**

***Blush..* **


	9. Make No Mistake About That

Unspoken Memories  
**Make no mistake about that. [Winter 1917]**

_**You were so young,**__**  
**__**And I guess I'm old.**__**  
**__**Open your eyes, **__**  
**__**I'll keep mine closed.**__**  
**__**I prefer standing,**__**  
**__**And you take your seat.**__**  
**__**I'll be wide awake,**__**  
**__**You'll be asleep.  
**_**The Poison, The all-American Rejects.**

"_You're not human, are you?"_

"No, I'm not Alice," He replied, gauging her answer.

"I'm not scared Doctor, I know these things," Alice tapped her had pointedly. "I saw, you won't hurt me."

"I'll try my very hardest Alice,"

"I had a vision the other day. My sister.. She's... she's coming to visit _me." _

"Well that's fantastic Alice,"

"No, the woman wouldn't let her see me. I really want to see her Doc-Carlisle! Please, let her see me, Please!" She cried, cuddling into Carlisle's shirt.

"I'll do what I can Alice, I cannot promise anything, okay?"

Alice sniffled, "But she l-loved me, I remember her, and-and she's come to see me! You said that I was here for..for.. a long time!" She went to grip onto her hair, out of habit forgetting that it had been sheared off, then broke down into another round of sobs once she remembered it was gone. "And now I look like this, and-and she's so p-pretty, and I'm s'posed to be the older s-sister. I-I saw her get married C-Carlisle, she was so beautiful. I-I look so silly now, and she's gonna think..." Carlisle held her closer, shushing her.

"You are beautiful little one, you said that your Jasper is out there, he's going to love you, you've seen it."

"Yeah, but.. B-but.. That was before they cut all my hair off, and now I don't look like what I'm supposed to be.. a g-girl. I am a girl right?"

"Yes Alice, you're a girl."

"I forget. I forget here, it makes me forget everything here, and I don't want to, what if I forget you C-Carlisle? I don't want to! Or Jasper!" She realised whilst a look of horror spread across her face. "No, not Jasper, I can't forget him!"

"Where did your hair go little one?" Carlisle asked softly.

"Don't you know Doctor? They gave me a treatment – It was terrible! I wish they didn't do it, they said I've got to have more too. They tied me down on the chair, it was one of those chairs that you go to when the things in your mouth.." She touched her gradually decaying teeth with her fingers in confusion.

"Teeth,"

"Yeah, _teeth_, it was like a tooth doctor."

"Dentist," Carlisle supplied.

"Um, yeah, _dentist_, and they put this thing on my head, and it was really scary Doctor! The room had a lot of not-dark in it, and it made my head hurt. Then they turn on a flippy thing, and everything started feeling, but a bad feel, one that wasn't nice."

"_Pain," _

"Yeah. Pain. I didn't like it one bit, and then I had to go back, and it made me forget Doctor. There was more, and the man touched me, not the way a man is supposed to touch a lady. Right Doctor? I didn't like it Doctor. Not one bit! But I've gotta have more, otherwise I'll never be normal again. But I don't want to be normal though, because it hurts too much to be normal again. I wanna stay being a crazy person, it doesn't hurt as much. Does it hurt for you to be a normal person C-Carlisle?"

"Not really little one, no one's normal Alice, don't you remember? I'm not a normal human either, and you are normal, don't listen to them ok?"

"But it's not fair! If you say I'm normal why do I have to stay here? I could be out of here, with my .. f-f-family, and then I could go and find Jasper! Tell them that I'm normal Doctor, then I can go again." She cried.

"Alice, Alice, listen to me, you're making this difficult, look at me," You're special, you have a special gift that no one else has, and humans don't like things that are different to what they're used to, that's why no one knows what I am, imagine what would happen if people knew what I was, Alice."

"No! Then you'd have to come in an asilliyum too! And that's only for crazies, and you're not crazy Doctor!"

"Neither are you Alice, do you see what I mean? Did anything else happen during your treatment?"

Alice squirmed a little bit as her medication was starting to wear off, "No. Then I had to come back here, and I couldn't remember anything! It was like everything was really ..bright, and then I remembered about Cynthia, and then I remembered why I was here, and why I wasn't allowed to be with everyone else.. and.. and-" She sniffed again, and Carlisle rubbed her arm. "They said I've got to have more Sock Treatments Doctor! I don't like him, I want my hair back, I look like a boy Doctor! Jasper won't like me if I look like a boy!" She started crying again.

"Alice, Alice, Jasper will love you for who you are! I can promise you that! Your hair will grow back, I promise,"

"But then they'll cut it all off again. Why does it have to be gone? Why do I have to look like a boy?"

"Because your hair will make it hurt even more, and it will all frazzle like if you lit it on fire."

Alice went silent. "Oh. If you're not normal, and neither am I.. Then me and you can escape, and live together! We can find Jasper together, and we can find you a girlfriend!" Alice mood suddenly changed, and Carlisle smiled at her.

"One day little one, when you're older perhaps."

"But I am old now Doctor, I'm tall too!" Carlisle chuckled at her; she was barely five feet tall. "Don't laugh at me," Alice started crying.

"Oh, little one I wasn't laughing at you! You're so small, like my own little fairy," Alice blushed

"I'm not a fairy," she huffed, acting very young, despite her 16 years, but then again spending a majority of your life in an asylum could do that to a person.

"Yes, you are, you're like Tinkerbell,"

"But I can't fly, if I could fly, I would fly away," Alice replied wistfully, her eyes somewhere else, "I would go away, and no one would give me sock treatments, and you could come with me, and we could live in a big house, and there would be lots and lots of animals for you to hunt, and we could live there, me, you, Jasper and then we can find you a girlfriend. Then we'll all live in the forest, and you can be like my Daddy, because you love me, right? And you can married your girlfriend, and she can be my mummy, then me and Jasper can have lots of babies, and then we'll be one big family."

"Yeah, maybe Alice, just maybe,"

"But I'm stuck here though, aren't I? We can never live in the forest, me, you, Jasper and Es- your girlfriend," Alice smiled devilishly.

"I will get you out of here Alice, make no mistake about that,"

**Ahem. Yes. It's crap, I know. I've been kinda busy lately, Coursework, work experience, exams, holidays, netball and having a life. And most of all, I'm not really into this whole Fanfiction writing thing anymore **** Anyways, I hope this kinda makes up for it a bit.. It doesn't, I know. Either way, review please?**


	10. I'm so very sorry little one

Unspoken Memories  
**I'm so very sorry little one [Winter, 1917]**

_**Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,  
How you suffered for your sanity,  
How you tried to set them free.  
They would not listen, they're not listening still.  
Perhaps they never will...**_

**(Starry Starry Night, Don McClean)**

The events of my meetings with the human who I had developed a sudden infatuation rolled through my mind as I waited impatiently for the sun to rise. As soon as the sun had risen I could return to the asylum to check on her condition, ensure that no more _treatments _had been inflicted on her. As much as I loathed the place, I try to keep my absence from the place to a minimum without arising suspicion. I would love to just stay with little Alice constantly and protect her, but if I didn't take any time off the hospital staff will notice my humanity – or lack thereof, and I would no longer be able to protect her as I would then also be a patient. Or for want of a better word – prisoner. Or victim. Either would suffice.

However, as I waited for the sun to make its appearance, I pondered what the delightful young human had said in our last meeting. My faultless vampiric brain would not forget the events of the other meeting I had that day, with my boss. Alice seems so out of place there, so normal, so sane. But she doesn't believe it. All the doctors and workers constantly drum it into her – and the other inhabitant's – heads that they are not normal and do not belong in normal society. And she believes it. Although she may not be what most humans consider normal, her abilities – although I admit to doubting them at first – are nothing but truth. Her wishes for the future she told me about were bittersweet. I hoped that she could get out of here – I would get her out of here. When she described her dream of her Jasper, Herself, my girlfriend and I to one day all live together, I could only hope. However, when she accidently started saying someone's name, then corrected it to "Your girlfriend," now that got the cogs in my brain turning. Maybe I would someday have myself a girlfriend, or a wife. Alice has "seen it," after all.

As I entered the room to her cell, following a further two hours of sitting and contemplating both mine and Alice's futures, I was somewhat relived to find her in the same position that I left her in yesterday. I say somewhat as although this means that no one has moved her – although they could have put her back in exactly the same place, although they would thankfully have to be gentle – but it also meant that she was still on the drugs that restricted her movement.

"Carlisle!" Despite being kept in complete darkness and her weak human ears, she still was alerted to my presence. Obviously she saw me coming, I made sure no one knew of my arrival here – my shift wasn't due to start for another 2 hours yet.

"Hello there little Alice," I smiled at her, although I know she wouldn't be able to see with her weak human eyes. She smiled at me, she knew I would be able to see.

"Did you have a good sleep?" She asked, stifling giggles, somehow, she knew of my inability to sleep.

"I did thank you, Miss Alice, and how about you?" I asked, drawing on my natural English accent from my youth.

"Not really, it was very cold, and somebody down the hall kept screaming. I wanted to help them but I couldn't." Trust Alice, always wanting to help someone even when she physically couldn't.

We then passed the time before my shift talking. Her, trying to quiz me about what people were wearing these days, I promised to bring her a fashion magazine in. Although when she politely pointed out she wouldn't be able to read it in the dark, I also decided to bring a candle. Slowly our conversation filtered to silence.

"I've been told to give you a treatment today," I said quietly, hating myself for ruining the moment. "I'm so very sorry, little one."

Alice simply replied; "Its fine Doctor, they're going to make me better. I can go back to my family when I'm better." I sighed; I won't tell her that when her parents signed her over to our care they didn't want the (Quote) "Freak," back.

"Can you get up?" She looked down at the floor and shook her head. I picked her up and cradled her gently. "I'll have to act like the rest of them when we get there, I'm so sorry little one. I'll put it on low voltage, and I won't let any of them hurt you, I promise." I held her carefully as I navigated my way through the maze of corridors, Alice squinted against the light she wasn't used to, burning her eyes.

I tried to place her down into the chair as carefully as I could whilst still trying not to make it obvious that I felt any sort of emotion towards her. I gave her hand a firm squeeze before I let go. A few more workers come into the room and begin roughly attaching restraints.

"We're trying a new type of shock treatment," one of the workers announced, brandishing some sort of contraption made out of copper that wouldn't honestly look out of place on a horse. He roughly shoved it into Alice's mouth who was now fully restrained, eyes wide with tears streaming down her cheeks. He pulled down the lever and Alice began to convulse. I watched as the man turned the voltage up higher and higher, looking at Alice with as much regard as someone would look at dirt on the bottom of their shoe. The rest of the workers were simply watching, this reminded me to much of my days I spent with the Volturi.

However, the one thing that I had here that I didn't have whilst in Volterra, was my physical strength dominating theirs. As the first worker turned the voltage up even higher, Alice was slowly slipping in and out of unconsciousness.

"Stop it! You're killing her!" I leapt towards the control panel, the worker there just casually flung to the side. Under normal circumstances I would have been disgusted with myself for hurting a human, however he deserved it. I pulled the lever down, careful not to snap the flimsy iron switch.

_I felt the shocks stop and my doctors cold hands then all the pain faded away into nothing._

**Yah. Sorry about the insanely long wait. Anyways, it's finally the summer holidays:) I promised I'd get an update up once they came. I do not know how many updates will come. I have the next 10 chapters planned, and a vague idea of the intricacies of the ending.. ish. I really want to get this finished as as much as I just want to disappear from the whole fanfiction thing, I don't want to just abandon my stories as so many people have done, but I also don't want to write crappy endings to them. So, you will have to live with my ridiculously far apart updating. You never know, I might finish the story by the time I retire :) **

**WhitestShadeOfPale.**


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